Hello, My Name Is Oderus
Q&A with Oderus Urungus of Gwar
IE: Hello?
Oderus Urungus: Hi. Sorry for being late. I’m just offering pleasantries. You humans are all about appearances. I don’t know much about you — I’m assuming you’re like all the others and giving you the benefit of the doubt. I’m keeping this nice and civil. I’ve been told by management to take it easy on the press: “They’re trying to help us.”
IE: Someone said you were resting.
OU: I’ve never slept. You know how you get that buzz when you haven’t slept for several days? Try not sleeping your entire life! I could take a nap if I wanted to, and if I wanted to sleep I could probably sleep better than anyone else in the world. My life is just too much fun to waste a single moment of it sleeping.
IE: I can understand that.
OU: How could you? You’re not an overlord from outerspace!
IE: Are there any unresolved issues for Oderus?
OU: No. Except maybe the guy in the Dos Equis commercials: the most interesting man alive. I haven’t met him yet, but I would like [raises voice], before you go on teasing me that this is the most interesting man alive that I get a chance to sound-off on that! I’m a pretty good judge of character. I’ve seen his little polo outfits. I think I should make him and Captain Morgan fight to the death.
IE: What is the official Gwar stance on UFC [Ultimate Fighting Championship]?
OU: We encourage it. We love violence. But we don’t think they know how to have fun. They’re not harming the audience. And they should be! That’s what we do. Ultimate Fighting has nothing on Gwar. They’re just two men grabbing each others’ nether-regions until they fall asleep on each other. “It’s the special fall-asleep hold! This is the most motionless fighting I’ve ever seen! No one’s going to get hurt here!”
IE: Has Gwar killed anyone you regret?
OU: No. If we ever regretted killing anyone — like we regretted killing Michael Jackson — we would instantly resurrect them. We are zombie lords. Our necrotic skills have no peer. That’s how opening bands stay with us. Early in our career, they wouldn’t even make it to the set. Wouldn’t even play. Usually dead, in the parking lot, before load-in. But we found — through Zombification magic — we can bring them back. They never quite have that “snap,” which is why we never let Slayer or Motorhead open for us. Even though they want to.
Gwar’s Lust In Space (Metal Blade) is available now. The band hold court to lay judgment upon humanity December 7th at House Of Blues before moving on to judge more humanity in another city. Q&A by Steve Forstneger
