File For Feb!
TEN THOUSAND FISTS . . . IN YOUR FACE!
Congratulations to local boys Disturbed who recently earned a platinum award from the Recording Industry Association Of America for their latest release, Ten Thousand Fists (Reprise). That certification means all three of the band’s major label albums have gone platinum (shipments in excess of one million copies): The Sickness is three-times platinum since its release in 2000, and 2002’s Believe also hit the platinum mark.
Success doesn’t mean respect from peers though, nor tourmates, apparently.
Sludge metal giants Corrosion Of Conformity toured with Disturbed in November and December as part of the Jägermeister Music Tour, and during an interview with Stonerrock.com, frontman/guitarist Pepper Keenan had some less than courteous things to say about the nu metal band. When asked about C.O.C.’s decision to join the tour Keenan replied, “It’s fucking ridiculous. It’s nothing . . . It’s the dumbest thing we’ve ever done in our lives.” Later, when questioned about a change in the setlist his band made for the tour he said C.O.C. planned on mixing it up more but “just don’t feel like it with the stupid crowd,” before saying “the average Disturbed fan is just a shopping mall . . . They’re not music fanatics by any stretch of the imagination.” Keenan closed the topic with a direct shot to Disturbed’s music, saying “We fall on our ass sometimes going on some of those jams and shit, but at least we’re doing something. We’re evolving somehow. If you ain’t evolving, you ain’t doing shit in my opinion.”
Disturbed frontman David Draiman reportedly responded, “Oooh Wahahaha!”
DOWN WITH DOWNLOADS
According to Nielsen SoundScan numbers released last month, nearly 20- million tracks were sold from digital-download Web sites the seven days following Christmas. That is double the previous record — set just a week before — of 9.5 million downloads and triple the number of tracks sold in the same week a year ago, according to MTVnews.com. “The legal online music marketplace [hit] its stride this holiday season,” said Mitch Bainwol, CEO of the RIAA. “So,” he continued, “thanks for providing the down payment for my new yacht, and don’t forget to keep downloading legally, otherwise we’ll sue your nuts off.”
Twisted Metal
If Twista hasn’t looked into becoming Amish by this point, he should, because a horse and buggy might be a far wiser method of transportation. Barely more than a year after being involved in a van accident that took the life of bodyguard and friend Arthur Dixon, Twista was the victim of an alleged hit-and-run. Details are scarce, but according to Allhiphop.com, Twista was injured when a vehicle struck his while he was driving in Chicago at approximately 4 a.m. on January 7th. The rapper’s manager, Rawle Stewart, told Allhiphop another driver ran into the rapper’s Dodge Charger, then fled the scene. Though no serious injuries were reported, Twista was apparently at home under the observation of his doctor after the wreck.
Enough, Already!
What’s sadder than the fact that a horny, attention-starved lug with demon face paint has infiltrated every aspect of our culture from condoms to bowling balls to caskets? Maybe the fact that as this writer types these words he pulls the information from a Gene Simmons pocket folder? For those who actually want more Simmons, you’ll be happy to know A&E has announced plans to air a reality series called “Gene Simmons’ Family Jewels,” an “Osbournes”-like docusoap. The show will revolve around the Kiss bassist, longtime girlfriend/former Playmate Of The Year/Cinemax-late-night-hall-of-famer Shannon Tweed, and their two kids. Cancel your cable, now!
And if you live in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, get the hell out of town! Otherwise you will soon live in the first city in the world to have a Kiss Coffeehouse. Brian Galvin, the “genius” behind the idea, told the Sun News the 1,350 square foot space will open in late spring/early summer and feature several blends of signature Kiss coffees. Myrtle Beach residents, you may not have a school board that tried to implement Intelligent Design, but this is the next most embarrassing thing.
— Trevor Fisher
