Caught In A Mosh: August 2010
The Big Bore
So I paid $18 to see The Big Four broadcast in June. The idea of going to the movies to watch a metal concert was a bit strange and spending nearly $20 to do so was plain dumb, but I had to. My gut tells me this thing eventually comes to The States (Slayer drummer Dave Lombardo agrees; read my interview with him this issue), but there’s also the possibility it won’t. What if Metallica puss out? If you were James Hetfield or Lars Ulrich, would you risk getting blown offstage by Slayer every night (exactly what happened in Bulgaria)? Would you want to face the fact, night after night, you aren’t the best Big Four band, just the most popular?
Hence why I sat in a stuffy Evanston theater (Cinemark is obviously trying to save some bucks by decreasing A/C frequency), eating popcorn (with M&M’s mixed in!), drinking iced tea (work the next morning; no caffeine after 7 p.m.), and watching heavy metal.
It was a strange scene. Lucky for you, I packed my notebook. Below are the kind of observations you can only get from a credited, highly regarded member of the music press.
• Not one person yelled SLAYEEER all night. Unacceptable.
• Joey Belladonna literally has not changed his hair style since 1984. Are we supposed to be excited about his return to Anthrax? A whopping four years after his last one?
• Dave Mustaine looks worn out and beaten down. Haggard. His face, to quote “Seinfeld,” looks like an old catcher’s mitt. Fell off the wagon? Doubtful. Endgame would be much better if that were the case.
• How in the world does Kirk Hammett fit into pants that tight?
• Why in the world does Kirk Hammett wear pants that tight?
• Very few people in Evanston like heavy metal, apparently.
• Lars Ulrich is a douchebag.
• Mustaine sounded fucking lousy.
• At least Dave Ellefson is back. Wonder if he considered asking the soundman to turn Mustaine’s vocals down in his monitors.
• Jeff Hanneman hates you.
Now some Big Four-themed lists. Who doesn’t love lists of shit, right?
BIG FOUR BEST FOUR
1. Megadeth Rust In Peace
2. Metallica Kill ‘Em All
3. Slayer Reign In Blood
4. Megadeth Peace Sells . . . But Who’s Buying?
BIG FOUR WORST FOUR
1. Metallica St. Anger
2. Megadeth Endgame
3. Megadeth Risk
4. Metallica Reload
BIG FOUR UNDERRATED FOUR
1. Anthrax The Sound Of White Noise
2. Megadeth Youthanasia
3. Slayer God Hates Us All
4. Slayer Diabolus In Musica
HIGH ON HIGH ON FIRE: I finally own Blessed Black Wings and Death Is This Communion on vinyl. Very excited. Yes, they are reissues. No, I don’t give a shit. All three High On Fire Relapse albums (Blessed Black, Communion, and Surrounded By Thieves) are available again on wax. Each is a double-LP packaged in a special “gatefold LP Stoughton ‘tip on’ jacket.” I have absolutely no idea what that means, but shit looks real sharp. Sounds real sharp, too, of course. Various color options are available depending on which pressing you snag, but beware: Only 1,500 copies of Thieves were pressed . . . You’re an idiot if you missed HOF at Lincoln Hall back in April. They killed. Luckily, our society gives idiots second chances. Matt Pike, Jeff Matz, and Des Kensel will plunder Chicago again in October, this time as part of Riot Fest. The punk-centric festival branches out more and more each year, and besides HOF, the 2010 version also includes Corrosion Of Conformity (albeit the original, hardcore, three-piece lineup of Mike Dean, Reed Mullin, and Woody Weatherman). An official schedule wasn’t available as of press time, but Riot Fest goes down October 6th through 10th. Check www.riotfest.org.
OUR CITY IS BETTER THAN YOURS: It’s been proven: Chicago heavy metal is the most awesome heavy metal in this country. Forbes — where I go for all my headbanging headlines — recently compiled a list of the best musical cities based on 10 specific genres. The mag interrogated a bunch of expert types (journalists, producers, musicians, etc.), and they confirmed what Chicago heshers already knew: We rule, boners.
MOSH-WORTHY: Shadowgarden Ashen (Napalm); Witchery Witch Krieg (Century Media); Early Man Death Potion (The End); Hammers Of Misfortune The Bastard/The August Engine/The Locust Years/Fields/Church Of Broken Glass (Metal Blade); Aaron Aites, Audrey Ewell Until The Light Takes Us DVD (Factory 25).
MOSH-WORTHY LIVE: Torche, Yakuza Arkestra (Wicker Park Fest 8/1); Drug Honkey (Empty Bottle; 8/1); Slayer, Megadeth, Testament (UIC Pavilion, 8/20); Bible Of The Devil (Glenwood Arts Festival, 8/21); Enthroned, Destroyer 666, Cardiac Arrest (Reggie’s, 8/25).
— Trevor Fisher
Category: Caught In A Mosh, Columns, Monthly
